Eggs, Bacon & Tears

Yesterday I said a joke to my ex that he didn’t find funny at all. I pretty much made our whole relationship that we’ve been building back up a joke. I’m so embarrassed by what I said that I don’t even want to write it out at all. 

Today he didn’t even want to speak to me because of it. And the sad part is that I understand completely. If I thought that he was playing with my feelings and treating me like a joke I wouldnt want to talk to him either. But this is just torture…

I tried to keep myself from checking my phone constantly looking for him to message back. So I made breakfast. I sat down and ate my toast quietly and thoughtfully…my mom came through the room yelling at me about how messy I am and that I didnt clean the counter. Somehow her words ended with me moving out because I’m so nasty and messy, and how that shows I have no respect… 

When she left I quietly tried to stuff the toast into my mouth to keep me from crying. A tear managed to escape my eye but I got rid of the evidence. And from there I decided to whip out my lap top and write on tumblr.

written